A woman on a mission.
My healing journey began in 2016 with a realization
I had spent most of my life running away from the things that haunted me… and I was too tired to keep running.
I was 25 and fresh out of a string of unhealthy, unfulfilling relationships that all bore a striking resemblance. Seeing an undeniable pattern, I forced me to face the facts: I had spent most of my life up until that point depressed, insecure, and hopeless and everything in my external reality was a reflection of that.
There at rock bottom, I made a decision – I was going to heal.
I had no idea what that meant or looked like. I just knew that I didn’t have it in me to keep going in the same direction and expecting a different outcome… something had to give.
What I’d quickly learn is that my decision to prioritize my wellbeing was much more than a simple choice – it was a catalyst, a declaration to the universe that the time had come.
I was finally waking up.
Waking up to reality wasn’t easy or pretty, but as they say – the truth will set you free.
In those early days, one word kept dancing in and out of my awareness:
Trauma.
At that point, my understanding of trauma mirrored our collective awareness – trauma was something that happened to veterans when they went off to war. It was reserved for objectively catastrophic experiences.
And me? In many ways, I’d had an easy life. All those painful moments could have been so much worse.
Never mind the sleepless nights, the semi-constant feeling of dread, anxiety, and terror, the crushing weight of guilt and shame that threatened to bury me. Never mind the digestive issues, the physical pain, and all of the ways my body was screaming “something isn’t right here.”
I was just being dramatic, making a big deal out of nothing.
But still, that word kept coming to the surface. Persistent. Relentless.
So, with what seemed like a simple google search began a near decade long study of trauma, its effects, and how we come back into wholeness.
“A healer does not heal you. A healer is someone who holds space for you while you awaken your inner healer, so that you may heal yourself ” – Maryam Hasnaa
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